Scars & Strength

Chapter 1 – The First Losses

I first lost my grandma when I was in grade 3, in 2007, if I’m not mistaken.

I was just a child, still learning the world, still learning life.

Yet, life chose to teach me a lesson that no child should have to learn.

Her smile, her voice, her laughter—suddenly gone.

The house felt empty. My heart felt empty.

I didn’t know how to cry properly then. I just felt a hollow that stayed with me.

I remember trying to understand why she was gone.

But I couldn’t. Children don’t have the answers.

And then… the unimaginable happened.

The same year, I lost my mother.

The person who gave me life.

The person who comforted me when I cried.

The person I thought would always be there…

She was gone.

And if life wanted to break me even more, it did.

On the morning of her burial, my little brother passed away.

Three deaths. One year.

Three pieces of my heart ripped out before I could even understand life.

I remember the faces around me, crying, shouting, mourning.

But inside me, there was silence.

I couldn’t scream. I couldn’t cry properly.

I just felt the world had stopped.

Grief doesn’t wait for you to be ready.

Grief doesn’t care about age.

It comes. It hits. It stays.

And you learn to live with it.

I learned that year to hold onto memories,

because memories are all we have when life takes everything else.

I learned that tears don’t always show,

and pain doesn’t always leave marks.

But the heart remembers, forever.

Chapter 2 – The Shadows of Tragedy

Years went by, but life didn’t get easier.

In grade 7 or 8, tragedy visited me again.

My uncle was found in Johannesburg, stabbed.

His eyes… wide open, staring at nothing.

I can still see them.

I can still feel them haunting me.

I didn’t understand why life had to be this cruel.

I didn’t know how to process the shock, the horror, the fear.

But I began to understand one thing—life is fragile.

Life is unpredictable.

Life can be beautiful, and at the same time… terrifying.

Then, in 2016, while I was doing matric, I lost my grandma again.

The only person I truly loved in this world.

The one who had always been my safe place, my anchor, my home.

Her passing broke me in ways I had never known.

I thought I had felt loss before.

I thought I knew grief.

But grief has layers, and each one heavier than the last.

Her absence left a silence that nothing could fill.

I cried in secret, I screamed in secret, I hurt in secret.

And yet, I kept moving forward.

Through all of this, I’ve learned resilience.

Even when the world seems against me, I have to stand.

Even when pain seems unbearable, I have to carry on.

I’ve learned to honor those I’ve lost by living.

By growing. By becoming stronger. By surviving.

I’ve learned that fear is natural, but courage is a choice.

I’ve learned that tears don’t make you weak—they make you human.

And I’ve learned that sometimes, surviving is the bravest thing you can do.

Chapter 3 : Rising Through the Storm

Looking back now, I see a life filled with pain, yes.

But also filled with lessons, growth, and blessings.

I am who I am because of the storms I’ve survived.

I value every moment, every laugh, every word of love.

I have learned to protect my peace fiercely.

I have learned to cherish those who truly care.

I have learned to never take life for granted.

I carry scars—some visible, many invisible.

But they are reminders, not chains.

They remind me of my strength, my resilience, and my ability to survive.

Grief is not weakness.

Sorrow is not defeat.

Love can exist even through pain.

Hope can exist even in darkness.

I am blessed, even when I don’t see it.

I am protected, even when I feel alone.

And despite everything, I am still standing.

I am still fighting. I am still here.

Life will continue to challenge me.

Storms will come, tears will fall, and grief will visit.

But I have learned to rise, over and over.

I have learned to walk with courage.

To live with purpose. To honor my journey.

This is my story.

My truth.

My life.

And I am proud of every step, every fall, every tear, and every triumph.